A Week in the Life of Gustavo

"Seems to think that if he fails to write, la migra will find him."--OC Weekly More merriment available at ronmaydon@yahoo.com

ter├ža-feira, julho 02, 2002

God loves to fuck with me.

Example: I was awaiting my weekday 6PM treat of The Simpsons today. I was especially looking forward to it today because the only episode I've never seen of the greatest show of all time was to show. Eagerly awaiting the completion of one of my goals in life, I remember thinking for a fleeting moment that my luck was such that some special report would pre-empt the broadcast.

Guess what? It did.

As Bart labored on the chalkboard of Ms. Krabapell's 4th grade classroom for the umpteenth time, KTTV Fox 11 broke for a special report: a car chase. A FUCKING CAR CHASE DENIED ME MY SIMPSONS. Guess how long it lasted? Yep, exactly half an hour. The car chase began with the opening credits of The Simpsons and ended with the opening credits of the show immediately following, King of the Hill.

I am livid. The Simpsons has been the constant cure for my depression. It kept my will to live alive back in high school. It brings me up no matter how many other problems I am dealing with at the moment. I keep saying that since I've seen every episode (except this one that was pre-empted by a car chase. A car chase!), I don't have to see it all the time. But I see the first minute of it, and I have to see it over.

If I were ever to be denied my Simpsons, I would be a very depressed person (right now, I'm furious at God). Am I the perfect example of TV Nation? No. This is the only show I watch on television (and old cartoons) since almost everything else nowadays is garbage. All I ask for from God in terms of placating me in the face of all other crap is my Simpsons and I'm a happy boy regardless of what else is going on in my life.

And God had to pre-empt it. Talk about kicking a man when he's down. Such is the terror of existence.