A Week in the Life of Gustavo

"Seems to think that if he fails to write, la migra will find him."--OC Weekly More merriment available at ronmaydon@yahoo.com

quarta-feira, agosto 13, 2003

And now...despots!

Idi Amin is on his deathbed.

The report from the Rotten.com library...and here's an excertp...

The former dictatorial leader of Uganda from 1971-1979, Idi Amin has been called "One of the most batshit loco leaders ever to seize control of a chaotic African nation." (Actually, we call him that, but he's been called much worse.)

Other dictators might find their enemies to be targets, threats, or terror: Amin found them tasty: "After his coup of his predecessor, Apolo Milton Obote, Amin rounded up the military leaders that did not support his coup, murdered them, decapitated them and sat their disembodied heads around the presidential dining table, scolding them for not supporting him, and taking bites of their flesh."

And now Agusto Pinochet is giving his lackeys advice on how to avert human rights courts...

Once again, Rotten...

After the people of Chile inadvertently elected a communist for president, General Pinochet did what he had to. Which was assassinate President Salvador Allende. Upon gaining power, Pinochet reformed many of Allende's disastrous policies.

One of Allende's failed initiatives involved not sending death squads to kidnap, torture, and murder his political enemies. This was Pinochet's first policy reversal.

Pinochet handed a list of names to one of his generals and gave orders to have them killed. The general assembled a death squad, jumped into a helicopter, and visited a few towns. He checked off the victims as they were eliminated, 71 people in all. This mission would later become known as the "Caravan of Death."

Thousands of leftists, unionists, and various other troublemakers were rounded up and held in concentration camps for up to three years. Many were interrogated, tortured, and killed. Whereas the Allende government had for all practical purposes given up applying electrical voltage to genitalia, Pinochet brought the country back to its core ideals.

PSS is a fan of Pinochet.

And though there's not corresponding link, I have to include Pol Pot's entry in its entirety simply because it's too brilliant to ignore...

ZAGAT'S SURVEY FOCUS: CAMBODIA

Single-handedly responsible for making Cambodian cuisine the "rare delicacy" that it is today (due to the fact that there are hardly any Cambodians remaining: "pol pot stickers are to die for!") this ex-Buddhist monk realized at a late age that the key to all existence, and all great food, "is suffering" "served on a succulent bed of skulls!" He ranks in the 7 Digit Club along with genocidal pals "Josef Stalin, Mao, and Adolf Hitler" for helping almost 2 million of his countrymen (20% of the population) leave this mortal coil "for spicier lands". This kingmaker's innovation of "killing fields" paved the way for future genocidal leaders to corner the market on "all-natural lye" and lit up the Hollywood sky by "igniting John Malkovich's rocketship to fame!" His economic, cultural, and culinary contributions to all civilizations "truly rival Martha Stewart's".